Excellence is something that is hard to measure in yourself but easy to recognize in others. As teachers, we are looking for excellence in the students with whom we work. It is easy to spot excellence because it differentiates people from those around them. When I look at the students at our school, I see excellence in performing arts and also academics, among other areas. We have talented artists, skilled performers, and very smart individuals that we work with every day.
The thing that is hard for me is to see how many of our students cannot see the excellence inside of them. We have so many students who suffer from negative self-talk and low self-esteem. This keeps them from understanding their own value. We have junior high students with a PSAT score that high school students would envy who truly believe that they are stupid. We have students who think no one will ever want to date them because of specific physical attributes they possess. There are many talented kids in our school who are afraid to put their work out there for fear or ridicule or persecution. When a child has the potential for excellence but a negative self-view gets in the way, he may never achieve his full excellence.
This is not a problem that is unique to our school. All around the world, children are suffering from these same things. So, what can we do about it? One of the most important things that you can do is teach your child media competency. This means that you are arming your child with the necessary information and abilities to interact with the media that exists all around him. Our kids experience constant advertisements and promotional materials that are disguised as content. They are constantly faced with people who exhibit society’s beauty ideals and are forced to realize how they don’t stack up. Then they are subsequently advertised products and regimens that can make them meet that impossible standard.
Similarly, our kids are being overexposed to “influencer culture.” They see online creators who made it big by pranking people or making funny videos. They see these people seemingly become rich by doing things that anyone can do. It gives them a skewed view of what it takes to be excellent in our society. Because they are so inundated with this kind of content, it’s hard for them to see what’s really going on. They don’t see the millions of people who try to become online content creators and never gain the traction of these few famous influencers. Because they don’t see that side of it, it gives them an idea that it is easy to make it big on Youtube or other streaming platforms.
These are only two examples of how content can suppress your child’s view of his own excellence or skew his idea of how to achieve excellence. There are countless other ways this is occurring. The answer is not to block your child from all media usage. Parents have tried this and failed constantly. Your children are very good at finding ways around parental blocks, and if you haven’t heard of a “finsta,” or fake Instagram (a secondary account under a different name where your child posts the things that they don’t want you to see), you are falling behind and your child probably has one. You cannot keep up with them; if they want to find a way onto social media, they are going to do it.
Instead, talk to your children openly about things they cannot understand online. It is proven by science that young children’s brains are not developed enough to recognize when they are being advertised to. Help them become media literate. Talk about society’s beauty standards and how there cannot be only one definition of beauty. Ask your child what he wants to be when he grows up. If his answer is a Youtuber or Tiktoker, unpack what that actually looks like with him. Your child is not going to be able to escape the media around him. Even without a phone, he can come to school and see it on other people’s phones. In a modern context, you as a parent have a new added responsibility to train your child in media literacy. If this scares you, start doing your research. Help your child become excellent by training him in this skill.
- Bria