The idea that rewards and recognition count is such a no-brainer. We all love rewards and recognition! What makes the reminder necessary is that we all love to GET rewards and recognition. We’re a little slow on the uptake at GIVING rewards and recognition. Maybe we need to broaden our definition of “reward,” and it won’t slip our mind so often. A simple “thank you” note, a coupon for a free ice cream cone, or a heartfelt hug can all be enough reward or recognition to make someone’s day. There are so many people involved in making your day run smoothly. The pandemic and the way it removed the services of some of those people has taught us that!
Gifted kids are hyper-focused on themselves. It comes from wanting to be the best at everything, to solve every one of the world’s problems, and to be the first at everything. Those gifted who aren’t like that have received so little reward and recognition for being that way that they have become the cynical versions of themselves. It is important that we highly reward our gifted kids for their efforts because cynicism is just a slight move over for gifted, and very few recover from it.
My students make fun of me because I have only two games on my phone: the mom-game “Candy Crush” and “Yahtzee.” I like that they take about three minutes to play a game. When I actually decide to play, my break doesn’t last too long. “Yahtzee” doesn’t use advertising, but “Candy Crush” offers rewards for watching commercials. The ads for these games have usually been aimed toward tech adults. Increasingly, though, they are targeting a different audience - the gaming community who wins money for playing the games. The ads are similar to games one would see in a casino at Las Vegas. I can certainly see how a person would feel rewarded playing them.
It makes me wonder if people have not replaced human interaction with these games. After all, there is a much higher chance of being rewarded and getting that great feeling of satisfaction. Interactions with people bring unsolicited criticism, taskings, and negative discussions. Games bring flashy graphics, sounds that indicate “winning,” and payouts. They may be small, but they deliver… consistently. Is it any wonder so many have chosen to lose themselves in these games?
We know being a constant source of small rewards is an attractive trait. Think back to someone in your life who always had something nice or encouraging to say to you. Maybe it was a grandparent; maybe a coach or teacher. This person understood the power of compliments. The only place I believe I accomplish this is when I am walking through the youngest elementary halls at our school in “teacher” mode, not “principal” mode. The kids flock to hug me, and I love giving them hugs. All we say is “hi!” but it’s a “glad-to-see-you hi,” and the kids and I both leave feeling so much better about ourselves. Why can’t I be like that all day? The obvious answer is because I am also a principal, and principals have to discipline. No one wants his principal to say, “Hi!,” give him a huge hug, and say, “You’re suspended for cheating!
I am aware, though, that I need to be out and visible to my students more - at all grade levels - so that I can have more of the happy “hi!” moments. Even a high schooler feels a small reward when an administrator addresses him without a tasking or a reprimand. Imagine how kind greetings could spread if they were practiced by all, right from the top!
We are entering the season of giving. People are more friendly and generous this month than any month of the year. As you go about your jolly way, I encourage you to take note of your feelings as you face each fellow-shopper and partier. When you get rewarded with compliments and recognized for hard work this year, note how it was given and give some to someone else. And in this moment of recognition, I would like to thank you, the reader, for joining us weekly to learn how to better help our gifted teens. If you are one of the parents of our students, you are helping to make your child’s life better, and that makes my job more teacher than principal. I thank you so much for that!
Michelle