I wrote that I lost my mind on New Year’s Eve when I made my husband take me  to the pound to get a puppy.  Two months later, I’m still pretty sure I lost my mind!  The responsibility of raising a puppy when my husband and I are nearing sixty is overwhelming at times.  There are moments I remember stepping out of the shower onto bath rugs… those are gone.  I remember not having to reach up on top of the cabinet for the toilet paper roll. I remember falling into my comfortable place on the sofa, spreading out my papers to grade, and perching my Diet Coke on the side table for easy access.  Not a chance of ANY of that happening again!

     But in between all the times of change and being her favorite chew toy, there are times when our puppy is the sweetest creature to ever live.  Those big, beautiful gray eyes beam, and that tongue begins licking to let me know that she has really, really missed me, and I know that she is going to be a huge part of our lives.

     It used to be so easy to have a dog.  Dogs stayed out back, and you played with them when you chose to go outside.  Now, dogs live in the house, ride in the car, get their teeth cleaned, and have sitters!  Did dogs change?  I don’t think so.  I think our ideas about dogs have. 

    If ideas about raising dogs have changed, you know ideas about raising kids have! Most parents I meet are still raising their kids in traditional ways.  The changes have been much more subtle.  Kids are having major medical issues due to the preservatives, dyes, and hormones/antibiotics in our food supply.  Teens have less hope for a future greater than their parents had.  And kids are pacified and silenced with this year’s number one toy:  the phone (some parents, too!). 

    As pet parents are taking more and more responsibility for their “fur babies,” many human-parents are taken less and less.  Traditional responsibilities like making dinner and having conversations about the day, spending quality time together, and reading with and teaching ideas to, have been replaced with “educational videos,” non-stop lessons and sports, and food in the car.  I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, though.

   The area of responsibility I’d like to address is the shifting of responsibility I’m seeing more and more from parents.  It kills me for how many I am the Bogeyman!  “If you don’t do this, I’m going to tell Mrs. Smith.”  Noooo… not Mrs. Smith!  Mrs. Smith actually follows through with consequences.  I can’t give Mrs. Smith the puppy dog eyes and weasel my way out of trouble.  Mrs. Smith won’t change her mind just because I ask her to.  And Mrs. Smith remembers what I did last time and holds me responsible even more if I do it again. Noooo!!!!

    Yes, I am consistent.  My kids meet high standards because I hold them to high standards.  I want parents who do the same, and for the most part, our school’s parents do.  There are always those few, though.  You know, the one whose child is punished, and then, when the child begins working on his/her sympathies, has the child write me and see if I’ll change my mind.  That parent knows I won’t, but if he/she lets the child write and I still say “no,” I’m the bad guy instead of him/her.   

   Here’s what we teachers believe are the responsibilities of our parents here at LAAS:

·         Accountability – Because this is a private school and costs extra, we expect the kids to work as if school is a job.  If the child is not working accordingly, we expect the parents to hold the child accountable.

·         Protection – Our kids are seeing some of the worst things ever on their tablets and phones.  There are plenty of tools out there that allow the parents to see what the child sees.  In some cases, being Big Brother is warranted.

·         Awareness – We communicate through Monday folders, weekly announcements, a newsletter, Facebook, Remind, Instagram, conferences, and emails.  Yet, I still have parents who have the nerve to say to me, “I didn’t know a thing about it.”  Not for our lack of trying.

·         Consequences and Follow-through – We expect parents to set conditions for behavior and performance, and we expect that consequences are in place for times when those conditions are not met. Nothing is less effective than a parent who does not follow through on said consequences.

And most importantly:

·         Teaching responsibility to one’s kids – I see many parents accept blame for their kids’ shortcomings.  Quite frankly, I don’t know what productivity comes out of assigning blame.  Instead, we should teach our kids to accept responsibility for their actions – both the successes and the failures – and to grow from it.

   Kids taught to be responsible grow up to be responsible adults, and we all win when adults are responsible!

-          Michelle