Grouping is a subject I think about often since the brain loves patterns, and I’m always looking for patterns in life!  I also have observed that humans have a great desire to “group” with other humans when in unfamiliar surroundings.  I learned this lesson while deep sea diving with my husband.  The desire to group with others was especially strong as we completed a night dive in the Gulf of Mexico.

            In everyday life, however, I am not a so-called “groupie.”  I have always been a person who stood on the fringe…not wanting to buy into the crowds, clubs, etc.  I enjoyed shared experiences with others, but I never felt the need to really “belong” to a certain group.   The only exception to this is in my Christianity.  I hold dearly to the fellowship with other people who have had the same experience with God as I have. 

            I heard a PBS program this week which was an old interview with Mr. Rogers of TV fame.  He noted that research showed children learned best from being in the grouping gathered around the dinner table.  It was the conversation in that specific setting that added wisdom to a child’s world of understanding.  I thought to myself, “It’s such a shame that our busy society has lost touch with that grouping.”  The majority of my students for the past few years talk only of eating at fast food places or in front of the TV.  Hardly any of them talk about family meals together anymore.

            As my husband and I worked with groups of young people, we showed them how people often try to get “into” a group.  As we formed a circle with kids, we told them they were a group.  We asked another person to be someone who wanted “into” the group.  Without any further words, those in the group drew closer together, keeping the outsider out.  Meanwhile, the person trying to get into the group would resort to force and aggression to gain entry…only to meet with increased resistance from the group.  Only on two occasions did the outsider politely ask “May I join your group?”  The groups on those occasions let them in immediately.  What did the youth learn from this?  I hope they no longer used the wrong methods to gain group acceptance.

            I learned long ago as a teacher that children can discern “classroom groupings” quite easily.  So many teachers thought they were clever by using group names rather than labels like fast, medium, and slow learners.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know the difference between “jets” and “tanks” in school!  I’ve spent my career keeping such groups from happening.  I also have waged a war against letting students pick teams…leaving a child to be chosen last.  That is an ugly feeling that no child should ever have to experience.  Rather, I group students into mixed groups, and I pick teams evenly matched with no one person chosen last.  I explain to children that in life we must work with all kinds of people who have different levels of skills and work habits.  To be successful in these situations, one must look for positives in all people.

            How thankful I am that God chose to love me…without any regard to what group/s I did or did not belong to.  That is grace!

                                                                                      - Kay