It’s been interesting to watch how the tables have shifted while learning from home during the quarantine. Many of my usually “A” younger students are failing miserably when it comes to getting work done and in on time. It seems that their parents trusted that they could do the work on their own since they were “A” students at school. But many, when given the choice, chose not to follow through. It makes me wonder why they were actually doing the work. If they were diligent, the work would be done because a diligent person finds value in the work. In other words, the work is good in itself. That leads me to believe that they do the work to keep from getting in trouble.
How does one teach diligence? Probably the best way is by example. You don’t have to wait till they’ve watched you for several years, though. Use simple lessons along the way to show how important a job well done is. For instance, the next time your child asks you to push her in the swings, push once and sit down. When she gripes, tell her that you did what she asked, and that’s all you are obligated to do. Then let her know you are joking and push a while. When you are through, ask her whether she liked it when you didn’t push her but the one time. When she says “no,” help her to understand that diligence is following through on a job until it’s done well. Ask her if she would rather eat food cooked by a diligent chef or one who is non-diligent.
This object lesson will help her understand the concept, but diligence is a learned behavior. Too many times I see kids with no chores or responsibilities around the house. The parents’ excuses range from “it’s just easier to do it myself” to “I have a particular way I like it, and he can’t do it that way.” Of course it’s easier to do it yourself; of course you are probably more of a pro at it than him. But your ease or the order of your house is not the goal; teaching diligence is. I tell those parents who say that to me: If you want your future daughter-in-law to like you, you better teach her husband to do something! And I tell the kids that their mothers are crippling them so that they will stay dependent long into adulthood! Put that way, it’s easy to see that the job of teaching diligence falls to the parents. Those who do not learn it in childhood rarely ever learn it.
So, for all of your child’s future teachers, significant others, bosses, supervisors, and project partners, I say, “Teach your child diligence.” How can having a thoughtful child for whom “doing it right” is the standard be a bad thing!
- Michelle