Shaming seems to be something that is making big news on the Internet social sites. I must admit that I am not fully sure of this new social media “no-no,” but I will try to address this subject from a senior citizen’s point of view. When my daughter first discussed this topic with me, we were talking about situations in which children lay on the guilt towards their parents in order to get their own desires met.
As we have mentioned so many times in previous blogs, no one seems to want to bear the responsibility for something going wrong. Yet, my mother used to say, “It takes two to make a fight.” And, accordingly, both of us siblings were punished. Today, when someone is caught in an entanglement, the cry goes out, “But he started it!” Yes, we tried that excuse when we were young, too. No, it didn’t work then either!
It seems today that groups gather together to apply pressure. I guess that is especially noticeable in our political arena. As my husband observed today, “I get tired of hearing the cry that this group of people or that group of people are always winning and then controlling the legislature. People should realize that if they don’t care enough about an issue to get out and vote, those who do care will rally the troops and vote in their representative.” Yet, people will continue to gripe and not take much positive action to stop such a trend.
I believe in using a good dose of “mother’s guilt” when children do not appreciate the many wonderful blessings they have. Instead of constantly bemoaning the fact their parents don’t let them have the toys they simply “must have,” I remind them of the great expense their family faces in just providing the needs of their children. Most of my students haven’t got a clue about house payments, utility bills, medical expenses, clothing costs, etc. Many times it is a good wake up call. Still, I have those who counter the tablespoon of guilt with, “Yeah, but my dad gets to buy what he wants!”
I don’t have the answers to this ongoing conflict, but I feel I’ve addressed it before in a blog about manipulation. However, I would like to introduce readers to a wonderful little ditty from the late Zig Zigler. It does send a message about responsibility, or the lack thereof, and thus shame on the guilty parties.
“There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.”
- Kay