Self-discipline is actually harder to accomplish than the discipline of another person. It is far easier to see flaws and imperfections in others than it is to see them in ourselves and then to correct them. As an artist, I realize this tendency more than most people. As an artist works away at a piece of art, the tendency is to see what he/she wants it to be…rather than what it really is. The solution to this problem is simple. Take the piece of art and hold it up in front of a mirror. Immediately the imperfections will become strikingly clear!
When I think of discipline, I see the same situation. It is easy for me to list those issues I want students to overcome. I can see what is still lacking in their performance. Yet, I am almost blind to my own weaknesses, or I realize little hints at what I need to improve…but finding the time or resolve to work on them isn’t nearly as important as “fixing” others! Isn’t this the whole human condition?!
There are all kinds of self-help books out there to guide us as we tackle all kinds of self-improvement. Yet, daily we see scores of undisciplined lives around us. As I have mentioned in previous blogs on this site, the majority of today’s young children seem to be lacking any kind of discipline. But instead of bemoaning the “Department Store Syndrome of Temper Tantrums,” I have actively done something about it.
I have taken a proactive stand with our students and have encouraged our staff to do likewise. We simply will not give in to tantrums, drama, manipulations or generally bad behavior from our students. I make our expectations very clear and reward when behavior merits it…punish when bad behavior is exhibited. I must admit that Michelle is more consistent with this than any of us, but her diligence in this matter has protected our students and school many times in the past.
This weekend at church, a retired school administrator complimented our middle school students who attended a science and engineering camp. She talked about their behavior and participation being noteworthy. That’s what convinces me that we are doing the right thing in setting high expectations for our students. It reminded me of the I Dare You book and program started by William H. Danforth, founder of Ralston Purina Company. He reminds us that “life is a four-sided affair…physical adventures, mental adventures, social adventures, [and] spiritual adventures. You have not one, but four lives to live – a four-fold opportunity to grow. A body, a brain, a heart, and a soul – these are our living tools. To use them is not a task. It is a golden opportunity…Sir Wilfred Grenfell’s message: Man must play, work, love and worship to get the most out of life.” The whole promise is, “the more you share with others, the more you have yourself. One of Life’s great rules is this: The more you give, the more you get.”
When we dare to take a challenge, we can accomplish much – even self-discipline. It was such a challenge that motivated William H. Danforth and countless others to achieve the seemingly impossible. His challenges stir our inner being to do something: “I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to start a fight. I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings. I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring. Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!” I accepted this challenge long ago. I have never regretted it. It is the drive that keeps me strong and active in the lives of my students and their families…even at the age of seventy-five+ years.
- Kay