Desire: Converting Mediocrity to Outstanding Success

The desire to be successful must be great enough to overcome the many negative influences which surround us and scream out to us every day of our lives.  The “mob mentality” which is so prevalent today, thanks to the interconnectivity of the Internet, works to push down on any desire one might have to rise beyond the average.

    I believe a person has to believe in his/her self-worth in order to achieve anything in life.  As we have looked at Zig Ziglar’s steps to the top, we have noted self-image is very important.  As I have been teaching my students about contributions of African Americans this month, I was reminded of the great achievements of Dr. George Washington Carver.  This son of slaves was born at the end of the civil war in Diamond, Missouri.  His great accomplishments included finding over three hundred uses for the lowly peanut.  These uses included milk, flour, soap, dye, chalk, and paint.  He was a man of faith.  From an early age, he felt God helping him to fulfill his purpose in life.

    In his own words, “…When I read the Scriptures, “In Him we live and move and have our being,” I knew what the writer meant.  Never since have I been without this consciousness of the Creator speaking to me…”  “Man, who needed a purpose a mission, to keep him alive, had one.  He could be…God’s co-worker…My attitude toward life was also my attitude toward science.  My purpose alone must be God’s purpose – to increase the welfare and happiness of His people.  Nature will not permit a vacuum.  It will be filled with something.  Human need is really a great spiritual vacuum which God seeks to fill…  As I worked on projects which fulfilled a real human need, forces were working through me which amazed me.  I would often go to sleep with an apparently insoluble problem.  When I woke the answer was there.”  “Service is the real measure of success.”

    Dr. Carver’s attitude was one filled with desire to be successful in helping humanity.  He was the first African American to have a national memorial funded by the government.  

While I am quoting Dr. Carver and thinking about his desire to help others, I want to pass along this list he once compiled of eight cardinal virtues for his students to strive toward, which sum up his own approach to life:

·         Be clean both inside and out.

·         Neither look up to the rich nor down on the poor.

·         Lose, if need be, without squealing.

·         Win without bragging.

·         Always be considerate of women, children, and older people.

·         Be too brave to lie.

·         Be too generous to cheat.

·         Take your share of the world and let others take theirs               

                                                          -Kay

    Nothing disappoints me more than my own mediocrity.  I can remember one teacher evaluation system by which I was evaluated as a music teacher in Texas.  There were several items on the list that did not pertain to music classes, so the principal just gave me 3’s, which equated to a “C.”  I had a fit.  I felt that I should not be labeled as “mediocre” when I had no way to be able to score high.  Often, we did not live on the military posts at which my husband was stationed.  Know why?  All the houses looked the same.  Mine couldn’t stand out.

    My first few years of teaching, I felt the need to stand out from all the rest so strongly that I wrote and produced dinner theater musicals, designed t-shirts for my students, and even organized a district-wide bike ride to support D.A.R.E.  I wanted to be the best teacher my school had ever seen.

    It wasn’t until I was pregnant with Bria and asked to slow down that I realized how little it takes to be above average nowadays.  I had to rely on workbooks and worksheets, which I do not normally do; yet, people were still calling me an outstanding teacher. 

    I still do a lot more than the average teacher, but my motivation is not to impress.  Instead, I do all of this because someone has to!  I do it well because I want people to be impressed, but the amount of work I do is a necessity.

    Our whole program at our school is based on doing more than what is required.  We show kids all the time how little it takes to be above average nowadays.  The kids know that their A’s don’t come cheaply; they have to actually work for them.  They don’t desire to go out and make easy A’s in the public schools because they know they won’t get where they want to go. 

    I have been having my kids (6th- 10th) reflect upon the pandemic quarantine time and what they’ve learned.  Can I just tell you that the kids are going to be okay?!  I am really impressed with what our kids have learned about themselves, the nature of people, and how to use given time well since it is a gift.  So many of the kids set goals, developed new interests, and began major projects.  I am very impressed!  For the first time in a long time, I see kids with hope for their futures.  I’m saying that many before them felt the world was getting worse.  This group is excited about the road ahead and the opportunities.  Because we have been in school this whole time, they see the advantage they’ve had, and they don’t plan to waste this opportunity that propelled them out in front.  These are truly exceptional kids!

-          Michelle

Have you ever gone through a period of being complacent and getting into a routine, then you make a big move that changes a lot of things in your life? Doesn’t that feel great? For me, I will go through periods where I get stuck in a rut and I am accomplishing what I need to, but I am not pushing myself. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, inspiration hits me and I knock out a bunch of those evergreen to-do list items that aren’t urgent but will improve your life upon completion. Every time this happens, I feel on top of the world and very accomplished, but I also feel stupid for not doing these things earlier. 

A great example that is somewhat embarrassing to share is my recent struggle with my garage door opener. Sometime about six or seven months ago my one and only remote for the garage door opener broke. We switched the batteries, messed with the wiring, tried to reset it, and nothing worked. At that point, most normal humans would buy a new garage door opener. That is not what my husband and I did. We opened the garage door from the wall-mounted opener in the garage, backed the car into the driveway, and then went back inside to close the garage. Once inside the garage, we then would run at the closing garage door and try to step over the sensor while also ducking so as not to be decapitated by the closing garage door. At first, we could do this successfully about 2 out of 3 times. Sometimes we would give up, close the garage, go back in the house and come out the front door. 

Eventually, we got pretty good at jumping the sensor. That’s not the point of this. We did this stupid practice for six months! A mix of laziness and uncertainty about how to get a new garage door opener for our very specific off-brand garage door opening system kept us doing this ridiculous ritual for half of a year. So what, you ask, finally convinced us to figure this situation out? We had company coming to stay with us and the embarrassment of others viewing this, now completely routine, stupid thing we were doing was enough to push us to action. We both dreaded fixing this problem. What if it wasn’t the remote and it was actually an issue with the garage door opener? What if we couldn’t find the right remote for this really specific off-brand garage door opener? Guess what it took to significantly improve our lives? $30 at Lowe’s and 10 minutes of effort setting it up…$30 and 10 minutes versus half a year of what we were doing to work around it. 

So what is the point of this long-winded window into my home life? Well, this week we are talking about converting mediocrity into success. Mediocrity is running and jumping (while ducking) over a sensor in your garage for six months rather than spending $30 and 10 minutes to fix something. But why did I do that? Ultimately, it was a fear and a lack of understanding of the issue. I was worried that the problem was bigger than the remote. I didn’t want to know what it could take to fix it if it was bigger than just replacing a remote. I think this is what gets in the way of a lot of people’s success and keeps people living in mediocrity. It’s fear and lack of motivation. 

So how do we get past that? Well, sometimes life will provide your needed kick in the pants (like your in-laws coming to stay at your house). But a lot of times this won’t be the case. You are going to have to find a way to motivate yourself to achieve success. One thing that really works for me is to-do lists. Physical to-do lists that sit on my desk remind made of what I need to accomplish and encourage me to keep moving forward. The way that the mediocre part of my brain “hacks” this hack is that I can convince myself that certain things don’t actually need to go on the to-do list. So I will put things like, “write your blog, make lesson plans, grade essays,” on the to-do list, but I won’t put things like, “significantly improve your life by spending $30 and 10 minutes to fix your garage.” By keeping these things off my to-do list I still get the reward of crossing off things that I know I will do anyway. This is not advice-do not do as I do. 

So here is my challenge to you this week. Sit down, make a to-do list. Start with the things you will finish immediately, but make sure to include the garage doors in your life. What are those things that you can do in school or in your career or your personal life that are hard or scare you, but will ultimately improve your life? Let’s tackle those together. Conquering those to-do list items is the way you convert mediocrity to success.

                                                                                -Bria

Desire: The Great "Equalizer"

This month we are discussing the final step on the ladder to success. This step is arguably the most important because without it you will not have the motivation to see your goals through. That step is desire. The desire to succeed is vital to the process of succeeding. Without it, you will likely burn out or get off track somewhere along your journey. 

Think about how you performed in school. Did you give every single subject your full commitment and attention? More than likely there were some subjects that you were more dedicated to and some that you did what you needed to do to survive. Generally, this can be linked to interest. If you liked literature, it was easier to motivate yourself to complete that work quickly and thoroughly. If you hated math, you might have procrastinated or put less effort into the classwork for that subject. The difference there is a desire to exceed in certain subjects. 

This can also be seen in our work. If you have been in a job that you truly are passionate about, you know that it is much easier to motivate yourself to work hard. Whereas when you are unhappy at work, it can be difficult to even drag yourself out of bed in the morning. It is a good feeling when you can enjoy the work you do and desire to continue that work. So, what do we do if we do not desire to continue our current job? 

This is where the desire to succeed comes into play. If you truly desire success, you will be able to motivate yourself at any stage of that journey. Whether you are in your dream job, or you are an intern for someone who has your dream job, your desire to succeed can help move you forward in your journey. Without this desire to succeed you might find yourself burning out or losing interest in your career. 

Take all of the skills we have talked about so far and pair them with a desire to succeed. That is the recipe for success. You need the other steps. You have to have a great attitude, you have to be willing to put in the work, and you need to set goals for yourself. But without a desire for success, these other steps have a great chance of falling flat. If you do not currently have that desire within yourself, try to examine why that is. Maybe you are pursuing the wrong career or life plan. Maybe there are other stressors in your life that are suppressing this desire. Take some time and really sit with that thought and try to get to the bottom of the issue. Before you take that next big step in your journey, make sure that you are setting your intentions on success. 

-       Bria

   Is there any group more interested in fairness than gifted kids? (Except, of course, when they’re about to lose!) Well, evidentially we have within us a built-in equalizer, and that is desire. 

   Our school is designed for gifted students, but highly-driven students do well, too. I often have parents tell me that they don’t know if their child is gifted, but he/she sure does work hard. I always tell them how much more I love working with that type of student. Gifted children don’t always feel the need to prove to teachers that they are smart.  But a highly-driven student wants to prove he’s just as smart as a gifted kid.  Because of that desire, he will outperform many gifted kids nine times out of ten.  That’s my kind of student!

    As parents of gifted kids, it is important that we cultivate desire.  It’s also the trickiest thing we will ever have to do with our gifted kids. If we seem too excited about an activity, most gifted will pass.  When we feign disinterest, and our gifted kid joins the activity, we have to be careful not to support too much.  If we go “all in” and buy the best equipment and lessons, our gifted kids suddenly want to quit.  

   My advice is to support your gifted child’s endeavors but set some ground rules for all activities.  

1. Once started, you cannot quit for the length of the season (or a year, if no season exists).

2. Should you decide to just quit trying since I won’t let you quit the activity, I will (fill in the blank) (... stop paying you allowance OR ...put you on restriction until you begin trying again OR … make you do so many hours of community service to make up for my wasted investment OR something like that.)

   To promote desire regarding attending a good college and getting a good job, actually visiting college campuses and sticking around for an event is a great way to build desire.  When a youth can get a vision of his future, it is amazing how much he will do to attain it.

   The greatest thing about desire is that it can beat intelligence and unfair advantages to give pretty much anyone a fighting chance!

-       Michelle

   Mary Crowley was the CEO of the highly successful Home Interiors company during the 1970s.  One of the quotes attributed to her was that a person needed to find something he/she loved to do; practice it until you were good at it; give the product away to others for free until people were willing to pay you for it; and then fulfill your dream successfully. (This is a very loosely stated version of her quote.)

    The desire to do something successfully must be the fuel driving a person’s dream.  Zig Ziglar talks of having “intellectual ignorance” which means not accepting the fact that something “new” can’t be done.  With the “desire” driving the engine of invention, a person can press on until he/she reaches success.

    I must admit that I haven’t met too many students in the past decade who have shown me such “desire” or “drive.”  I can think of two who have not only achieved their dreams…but both of them did so at an unusually young age.  One of these young men actually opened his own company while he was a student at Lawton Academy.

    In my own life, I had two “desires” which drove me to the successes I have enjoyed during my lifetime.  One of the major “desires” was just as Zig Ziglar talks about: “when life gives you lemons…make lemonade out of it!”  My desire to get out of the inner city where I lived my childhood, and out of the poverty my family endured was a “burning” desire which I fed by consuming every book and National Geographic Magazine I could lay my hands on in the school libraries.  The other driving force was to be able to help children who have been victims of abuse and/or neglect.  My path to success has come about as my faith in Jesus grew and I claimed the Bible promise: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  

    I have journaled much of my life, and these journals attest to the phenomenal answers to prayer and guidance in my life.  So, I agree with Mary Crowley on one more factor.  She said, “I turn my troubles over to God every night…because He’s going to be up all night anyway!”

    Finally, I can say this has been a wonderful ride…all the ups and downs have not prevented me from realizing my dream.  No, it is not an easy task to climb the steps to success; however, it is well worth the effort!         Kay